Crafty Lucy

I figured it was about time i posted some Lucy luv on here. She has been so much fun lately and loving hands on stuff. I love to watch her play and explore. She gets such a kick out of little things. I really am going to miss my alone time with her. Enjoy my Luce - i do every stinking day!

Of course Cinderella has to finish her chores before play time every day.. such concentration.


She will literally play with these beans up to 45 min. i just lay a table cloth on the floor and give her the baggy of mixed beans and she's just scoop, poor, pick out the big white ones (?) scoop, poor, pick out the big white ones, wait for mommy to clean them all up and do it all again.. Jen got us started on this. Thanks for the beans Jen!


Then there's play dough time. looooves her some play dough. She does like to sniff it and put it in her mouth from time to time but we try and keep that to a minimum :)


nice smoothie mouth Luce...



I love when she pretend feeds her little dough dog... so cute!


we have fun with our water color too. I love this myself. It's nice to find something we both like.



On another random note. Brian, mom and i watched The Bucket List, last night. Oh my gosh i laughed & cried so hard. it is such a great movie. If you or anyone you know has lost someone to cancer it is a must see. I just really love the dynamic between Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicolson.. some hilarious lines! my favorite one of his was "never trust a fart" check out the trailer

France Tales

Altho we had a wonderful time there and have many happy memories, the trip began with a terrible plane ride. Working thru my anxiety of traveling with Lucy would have been helpful for the plane ride to Paris. Lucy had this ear infection that we were treating with Amoxicilin. She seemed to be feeling much better but Monday morning (travel day) we noticed some spots on her back. Apparently she had a terrible allergy to the antibiotic. That just got worse as the day progressed. She was whiny pretty much the whole 7hr ride but literally screamed the last hour and 1/2. We were "those people" with the screaming kid. This is what she looked like the day we arrived.




Nothing would calm her down and i was literally going insane, just ask brian! Needless to say when we arrived in Paris i hated France, hated everyone, i was so disappointed in Lucy. I was so disappointed in my self. I just didn't think i could be a mom! then i'm looking at my belling going - why am i doing this again?? Ok so it was a bad day.

It took me a few days to get used to the time change, feel rested & sane again. Once i got unpacked and went for a walk with Grammy and Lucy i felt much better. It was like oh ok i'm in France, that was bad, but this place is amazing. Then i just wanted to enjoy it.

My in-laws live 5 min from the beach. One night we got some KFC (i know in France right?) and had a picnic. It was the first time for Lucy to be at the Ocean. She had been to Smith Mountain Lake and to a little spring in FL. I was so excited that it was in France. It was kinda chilly but so beautiful. I had my camcorder out and was taking it all in.




She loved the sand so much - she ate some. (which she of course threw up in the middle of the night along with her KFC fries)


This is my handsome father-in-law Mike. i think i kinda look like i could be his daughter in this picture. He's so great, always so patient and kind with me. Love him so much!


Lucy and i havin' a good ol' time


leaving the beach was the hardest thing for her tho. Her love affair with sand will go on for ever i'm sure.



After realizing that i had let myself think those thoughts on the plane and in Paris. I knew i needed to spend some time with the Lord confessing my sin and letting Him heal places in my heart that were unkept. Lucy was not sleeping thru the night and every time she would wake up when i hadn't had enough sleep i kept getting crazier and crazier. It was like during the day i was happy American tourist in France but at night i was a monster mother wanting to give up on everything good. My wonderful in-laws were so patient with me, making me delicious French coffee and letting me nap while they watched Lucy was so special.

They even let Brian and i spend some time together while they hung with Luce a few times. Dad dropped us off at this nature walk close to their house. It was so special just to spend time with Brian. He is going to school right taking a degree in Spiritual Formation. Basically to be more like Jesus. I really see him growing so much everyday and becoming more like Christ. He is such a rock for me. This day was no different. We talked at length about what my issues were. Somewhere mixed in with the bad trip, pregnancy hormones & lack of sleep, there were some other things going on. I had this realization that i am controlled by my emotions and well basically i'm a spoiled brat and can't handle when things go wrong. I just go insane. literally. He prayed with me and left me alone for some solitude while he walked a ways down the path. He just led me right back to Jesus the only one that could heal me. Brian is going to be such a great spiritual director one day, i mean he already is for me.



He said something to me in Paris to the effect of Jesus striping me of everything, till nothings left but love.
Hebrews says that even Jesus, tho he was the Son learned obedience thru suffering. I knew Jesus obeyed but he had to LEARN that? I really think God is teaching me to persevere in my own suffering. I know others suffering is so much more than mine and i desire with all my heart to be the kind of woman to be strong, but my threshold is so low right now. All i can do is cling to my Savior as the boat rocks in my stormy emotions. I know he will make me well as i continue to seek His face. One of the things i'm learning to do is be thankful in all things. Thanksgiving helps defuse usually any thing that makes me crazy. I also read psalm 116 over and over in the middle of the night when i just couldn't stay calm.

I started by saying - Jesus teach me how to suffer, teach me how to obey.
1 I love the LORD, because He hears
My voice and my supplications.
2 Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death encompassed me
And the terrors of Sheol came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called upon the name of the LORD:
"O LORD, I beseech You, save my life!"
5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
Yes, our God is compassionate.
6 The LORD preserves the simple; (mothers)
I was brought low, and He saved me.
7 Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
8 For You have rescued my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
My feet from stumbling.
9 I shall walk before the LORD
In the land of the living. (tomorrow morning)
I think this was one of the psalms read at passover too. definitely the cry of my soul in those times.

I love this picture cause it is so symbolic of what happen that day. I began a new walk down a new path. He leads me in paths of righteousness, for His name sake.


It was just so fun to see her spending time with my in-laws they love her so much and we will never forget this wonderful time together. Lucy & Grammy watering her plants. (she's obsessed with water too)

"pool" time

Lucy in her make shift pool, originally uploaded by Joyspeak.

It was so nice out yesterday and she was feeling so great when she got up from her nap. I decided it was pool time.We don't have a yard yet, all we have is a little apartment deck so i just put her in her suit, which she hated the top- and put her in a little plastic container i had with some toys & water. She really had a great time. She looked so cute in her bikini!

Here she is havin' a good ol time. I LOVE this weather. i can't wait to have a yard. course then it's freezing today. I've got to get to packing for the trip to France anyway - no pool today.




sometimes she's good



sometimes not :)



have a great weekend!

Double Trouble

Lucy has not been herself since i took her for her shots on Thursday last week. She had a little cold when we went but, she just got worse and worse. She spend most this weekend looking like this. This is a bib i made for Chloe back in November and Lucy wasn't really cooperating with trying it on for me. Monday night was the kicker. We were up every 2 hrs with her and she wouldn't even nurse she would just cry unless she was sitting in front of her video. Even then she wasn't happy. She wasn't eating and i was just freaking out that something, having to do with the shots, was terribly wrong with her. I woke up Tuesday feeling like i had been rolled out of my pasta machine so Brian called the doctor for me and took her. Sure enough she has an ear infection in BOTH ears! I'm so glad i didn't go, they had to get all that wax out of her ears and Brian said she was screaming the whole time.

We are leaving for France Monday and i was just panicked about taking a sick baby on that plane! Since she came home from the doctor and is on her antibiotic she has been back to good ol smily Lucy. Man i missed this kid. Here she is dancing to the Gilmore Girls ending tune - or more like doing some aerobics. She loooves to dance to anything, even when my phone rings.



Please pray for our trip. I am still nervous about getting on the plane with her over night. I am so excited to go to France to see my in-laws but its the getting there that i'm nervous about. Pray that i will have Peace that night and be kind to Brian. When i don't get sleep i turn to a crazy woman and i'm soo mean. Don't know how that man stays with me day after day!

Machy-Machy Easter

Nothing makes me want to blog more than clipping my nails and having a cup of Clover coffee. i love the way my fingertips feel on the keys.. ahh it's the little things. My sweet husband who has been working so hard at doing school every free moment and watching Luce when i'm exhausted, went to The Good Cherry this morning to finish some stuff up. He called on the way home to check on me and brought me a cup of Clover. I love you sweetie!

So here's our Easter pictures. I got the idea to make Lucy and i matching shirts to wear to church. I have been so lazy lately i didn't think i would actually get around to it. But lo and behold, since i picked an easy pattern idea. I got it from the pillowcase dress idea, and added some pockets. It was super easy. Course mine looks more like a moo-moo than a shirt but hey i'm pregnant right so who cares?? Lucy just looks adorable. Brian loved the way her dress looked on her.
She has been sick with a cold and fever for a few days so she wasn't extra happy yesterday morning.





Brian and i have been talking about Easter a lot this Lenten season and really wanting it to be a special time. We both grew up in the church hearing about "Jesus died on the cross for your sins". As wonderful as it was to grow up in family's that taught us that, you just become callused to hearing about it. I was just hating the fact that Easter wasn't really affecting me as i hoped. I was longing for feelings of thanksgiving, awe, humility and all that goes with understanding that - Jesus really did die on the cross for my sins and for my soul! We went to the Tenebrae service at Grace which was amazing. A very quiet, dark service. Like a memorial for Jesus reading thru the passion story.

We had decided to watch The Passion, which has got to be the hardest movies to watch. Brian and i aren't ones to watch a graphic violent film unaffected. But this was something we chose to watch, trying not to shut our eyes the entire time.

I had prayed earlier Saturday that He would impress on me the importance of Jesus death and give me a sense of thanksgiving for it. HE totally came thru for me while we were watching the movie. I'm sure the pregnancy hormones were helping too, but i couldn't stop crying the entire time. The strongest sense i had was just deep sadness that this horrible death of precious Jesus was truly the ONLY WAY for us to have life. My awareness, respect & connection with Mary was so different this time, because it was the first time we had seen it since Lucy was born and i was totally there with Her. Man, that actress that plays Mary is soo amazing. I will never see Mary any other way.. I am so thankful that Mel Gibson chose to make that movie. Beside the fact that it is the story of our faith, it is really well done. I want to encourage you, if you were also having trouble this Easter to "get into the season" to watch this movie. Trust me i was praying to Jesus to help me get thru the movie the entire time and it is NOT FUN. but the blessings i received from watching it were so worth while! There is this part in the beginning that keeps sticking in my mind. He's in the garden praying and Satan is saying stuff like, "do you really think this will work? you really think you can save their souls?" He was not just afraid of what would happen to him, he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

***BEFORE YOU WATCH THE FOLLOWING VIDEO...We had an art exhibit at our church about Easter and i wanted so badly to participate. The only thing that kept coming to mind was the U2 song - Until the end of the world. It was written about Judas betrayal. I wanted to do something with it but couldn't think of what. Someone has dubbed it over clips of The Passion movie and it is AMAZING. I spent the entire 4 min crying.. I'm posting it here but i'm warning you, don't hit play until you are ready. If you have a queasy stomach (pregnant friends) don't watch it. If you haven't seen the movie and are wondering if you should, Candace, you may not want to start with this. If you love U2 and have seen the movie, say a quick prayer to make your heart ready. It may even help you see Judas in a different way - then hit play.



Because Brian and i worked hard to prepare our hearts for long awaited Easter Sunday, we both enjoyed the most amazing Easter we ever have. He actually went to a sunrise service then we went to our church, Grace Ev Free. The songs that we sang made me weep the entire service and the joy i felt knowing that Jesus had answered my prayer with establishing the importance of His sacrifice in my heart was so special. We have this tradition of flowering the cross. It was so beautiful. Everyone brings flowers and we are dismissed by rows to put our flowers on the cross. This is the best picture we got. Lighting isn't best.

If you have gotten this far, thanks so much for reading my Easter journey. I will treasure this year in my heart and hope every year i will reflect on His death and resurrection in a new way. Easter is so important.

Way to start my week

You know you are pregnant when you are dreaming of what you will make for breakfast before you get out of bed! I was thisclose to just going to McDonalds for my favorite bacon, egg & cheese when i remembered we had 2 slices of bread left - that is if brian did't make a PB&J before he left for work. I had one slice of American cheese left which i have recently discovered is the best for making a kickin' grilled cheese. When i was pregnant with Luce i lived on those things!

So i'm dragging my self out of bed already planning on being mad at poor Brian if he used the last of "my" bread. Yea right, like he doesn't pay for every stinking thing i eat!! sheeesh! how does he live with me??!! and taking Lucy in her Pjs to Micky D's for that bagel! It is just nuts how insane i get when i get an idea or craving i've just got to have it! Yesterday i'm craving cream cheese won-tons again. Brian's like, "babe, didn't you just have some yesterday? maybe we should make it an every other day thing.." Bless his ever loving heart he wants a healthy wife and baby so bad! ok- fine! could be worse, he could ground me from my won-tons all together if he wanted. it's his baby too! You know it's bad when the asian girl in yoga class makes you think about your won-tons! sheesh!! "..mm, look at her, wonder if she works at a chinese place around here.. wonder how much their won-tons run.. wonder if she hates them by now.." i know i'm retarded!

As i arrive to the fridge.. ta da! the bread is still there, along with one of his green smoothies for me. I am so thankful for that man and the way he cares for me. Yay i can make my own bacon, egg and cheese. I even made my eggs shaped like my bread. (thought of that in bed) obsessive i know! But it was soo delicious especially after i added some tomato. YUM! Had some of my French coffee, my in-laws brought me, to go with my breakfast. Some water with my tin cup for my vitamins and Juice Plus.

Mean while i'm watching this! i thought this day would never come!! seriously, what a way to start my week.. love this kid!



While i was getting ready for church yesterday, daddy & Lucy were playing a little Harry Potter. love that grin! have a great week!

Freaky Friday

Thought you've been patient enough waiting for more Lucy pictures so this morning along with needing to trim my nails, i was inspired to paint them black again. Looove the way that looks on short nails. Thanks for the great idea KiKi! then i thought, lets do Lucy's too! and our toes. It's so much fun to be matchy-matchy. Don't know what daddy will think when he gets home but there's always nail polish remover. i mean i could have gotten the matching tatoo idea again! jk

enjoy some lucy luv

I got a sweet new phone that even takes pictures yesterday - must be why i'm in such a good mood. Thanks for my new phone baby! i loooove seeing your picture when you call :)


chowing down on some sweet potato chips, yum!

fun with her new blocks

she is just lovin' the heck out of these. She has played with them every single day since we got them and she doesn't get tired of them. I love it! She is getting to be so much fun!

Prunes Please?

couldn't resist.. you had to see this.. love you.

Precious